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((((((((((((Originally published as an e-zine to coincide with release of "SUPER OBLIQUE VINYL PYRAMID!!!!", adios nervosa's debut "four-sided single", November 1st 2020.

hullo

// ten years of piano lessons whistled through my head as a kid. I dropped music as a high school subject in first year, and the aforementioned classes never went past grade 3 on any official metric. So for a long time I never dared making music, really, afraid of the consequences, the adolescent jeering &c.

// but watching friends in uni make music, and produce – Kinbote! melodious phunk! Syzygy Juice! – got me the itch proper. And I always tried to inject that kind of gig energy into spoken-word and literature, but still always felt a kind of pang, or self-consciousness, in knowing I couldn’t quite get that same exact primal energy – its own rewarding energy, vigorous and enlivening as music, if done right, but my practice was always one of merging because of my cultural climate being that – i.e. internet – and I’m young, so why not try the actual article???? My biggest fear is regret of all kinds, after all. But this isn’t a therapy session, SO

// in music there is another attempt. If climate crisis doesn’t finish us off we are heading towards a universal literacy of art, of the programs used for music and film – an age where the once-unpossessed possess tools. When “non”-[x] can make compelling work within whatever medium they love, love-for-creation. When track-making became fluid for me, as immediate as writing (my main artform), that’s when something clicked

// music was always a texture and flow in the digital age, so less an egoic concern for me as, say, writing; writing has its lateral value, so within its village of active people (despite widespread respect) there is more to contend with, more gravity. While with music, it’s truly in the thrall of the tyranny of numerics – hence bandcamp exclusivity, for the moment at least, because there is even less chance of typical success(es) in a medium this ubiquitous!!! // i got a simple monophonic synth (Korg Monologue) in late 2019, but got Logic Pro X in

March, just at the start of lockdown – 90 day free trial for it, see (furloughed silver (lining) &c.). Had before only messed around with synth settings to get a feel for the instrument, before recording anything; made Week 3’s release during this period, then jumped to

GarageBand for the rest (I plan to get prof. software again dw)

// So the MONTH OF MOONDAYS: every week, on the day of corresponding importance 4 November (scorpio! My mercury!)’s moon, I release a different musical project I’ve been brewing over the last year or so. Week 1 is this&this quadruple A-side. Week 2 is a vaporwave album. Week 3 is a fictional video game soundtrack. & Week 4 is a near-10— minute techno track/quasi-improv piece

// am making music not out of talent, not to prove I am great at this, but rather with the determination to make something great, whatever failings and tone-deafness I have personally. Morven introduced me to Dean Blunt, Nic Cave, etc., and there is something impressive and hopeful in them, I think – poets, reall; if even they can’t “sing” as per traditional metrics,,, Other influences: Xiu Xiu, John Maus, Momus, Stephen Paul Taylor // I am nothing if not a voracious listener of music foremost, and until I pick up the actual mechanics thru osmosis and trial&error, this will be my education!!! That and with the loveliness of friends and you, dear listener ppl!!!!

// peace&love

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